Most Likely

Kasey Schumacher

kasey schumacher | social cues | june 2019

This June marks 10 years since I graduated from high school. I was recently invited to a group on Facebook trying to plan our 10-year high school reunion. Call me Debbie Downer, but I feel like social media has kind of replaced the need for a reunion. What am I going to do, attend and pretend like I haven't purposely (or accidentally!) creeped on these people for the last 10 years? I'm just being honest.

However, joining this group made me start thinking about folks I went to high school with and our Senior Ball over a decade ago. At this dance, they announced the list of superlatives (aka the list of “who's most likely to succeed” etc.). I was voted “Most Likely to Be Famous” and still have a sash with that title on it, written in gold glittery puffy paint.

Then I started thinking, “What if social media had superlative categories?” Hmm…

Most Likely To Flood Your News Feed

These people tend to go on a social media bender of sorts where they post a ton of content back-to-back followed by a large chunk of time with virtually zero content. On the social media spectrum of clicking the “post” button, they play the extremes.

Most Likely To Pretend Like They Know You To Make the Sale

Don't get me wrong, I am all for people trying to do a little side hustle and share their passion for leggings, lipstick, meal-replacement powder and make-up. In all honesty, I have purchased nearly all of these things via social media at some point. What makes me raise my eyebrows is when someone I haven't talked to in years pops up in my messages with some scripted intro trying to sell me something and acting like we've been tight buddies for years. I'm going to have to pass.

Most Likely To NOT Be An Expert

These folks share a ton of content about the same topic. However, this doesn't automatically mean they possess a high intellect about said topic. Don't be fooled.

Most Likely To Scream At You

These are the people that tend to write in ALL CAPS. Without even looking at their feed, you can pretty much bet all of their posts will also be in caps. The best-case scenario is that they are really excited about whatever they're sharing. Another option is that they don't understand how or when to emphasize something appropriately. And the worst-case scenario is that their caps lock button is permanently stuck with a sticky substance.

Most Likely To Like Everything

Whether or not they actually like something, their fingers get a little click happy with the “like” button. Granted, I'd take this over the alternative – clicking the “hate” button on everything.

Most Likely To Humblebrag

What is humblebragging? According to one of my favorite and most hilarious resources,, it means: to say in a covert yet boastful manner. To show off with indirect phrasing. Basically, these are the people that want to share good news in a way that doesn't look like they're showing off. However, in reality, all they're doing is showing off.

Kasey Schumacher is the marketing director for Let Me Be Frank Productions by day and a performer for the troupe by night. When she isn't updating Facebook or singing a 1970s classic, she enjoys running, cooking, questioning final rose picks on 'The Bachelor” and planning overly extravagant trips to Disney.

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